Growing up in Indonesia as an East Asian with slit-shaped eyes, people like to point out how my eyes seemed to be totally closed every time I smile or laugh. I never take that as an offense at all because subconsciously I was aware that it amuses people around me, even though, I must admit that the look of my smile is not the sweetest. But out of nowhere when I started senior high school, I purposely stopped smiling and I noticed that I was losing my confidence. I was talking awkwardly, I couldn’t stand firm when people were around, and I looked horrible in group photos. This edgy phase continued to happen until I graduated.
Then there’s this period before I entered university. One day a 5-year-old cheerfully laughed when I greet him. His mother told me that he liked me because of my smile. I was surprised a simple smile could do that. That day I clearly understand what Nat King Cole’s Smile is all about.
For that wholesome encounter, I started to smile regularly again. I began by showing a friendly smile to strangers that initiated eye contact with me on the street. As this trivial behavior started to mold into a habit, I feel more confident. Now talking to other human beings feels effortless, I gain more composure to start any conversation (which equals more friends), and telling the waiter to replace my fallen spoon is not scary anymore.
It’s a daily practice that you can apply too. Young people today spend so much time and mental energy worrying about how they look. But let me tell you, a sincere smile, a modest outfit, and clean hair are all you need to start. The universe won’t end just because 8 billion people don’t consider your looks a supermodel or an Instagram influencer.
Remember that even if you’re ugly and you lost a tooth. Your little smiles still matter and your life can start to change from that.
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